When I Was Ten, My Family Moved

I Don't Really Hang Out With People. I Like To Be By Myself. In Fact, I've Been Arrested A Few Times Because I Like To Walk Around At Two Or Three In The Morning, Looking At Shop Windows. The Cops Take Me To The Station And Fingerprint Me. But I Wouldn't Call That Hanging Out.

For Some Reason, Religious Jokes Seem As Trivial As Jokes About Food Or Driving.

Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier Every Year. Like, This Time, It's On December 25th.

I'm Not A Republican... But I Am Saving Up To Be One.

I Took My Grandmother To The Emergency Room. The Doctor Said That She Was On An Artificial Life Support System, And That Although Her Brain Was Dead Her Heart Was Still Beating. I Though, "we've Never Had A Democrat In The Family Before".