I Was The Kid Next Door's Imaginary

Coming Up With A Funny Joke Is Like Falling In Love: It Can Hit You Any Time, Anywhere. Having Said That, The More You Put Yourself Out There, The Better Your Odds Will Be.

Writing Jokes For Others Is Like Having Babies For Someone Else. It's Sad. Like The Woman Who Gives Up Her Baby But Needs To Be Close So She Secretly Becomes The Maid In The Household.

If You Can Make Just One Person Laugh, Then You Are Already Doing Better Than Tony Danza.

I'm From Downer's Grove, Illinois. We Had A Blackout There The Other Day, But Fortunately The Police Made Him Get Back Into His Car Before He Got Too Far.

I Like To Play Chess With Bald Men In The Park Although It's Hard To Find 32 Of Them.