I Was So Naive As A Kid

I Hear That Whenever Someone In The White House Tells A Lie, Nixon Gets A Royalty.

Married Men Live Longer Than Single Men. But Married Men Are A Lot More Willing To Die.

Did You Know Richard Nixon Is The Only President Whose Formal Portrait Was Painted By A Police Sketch Artist?

Americans, Too Many Of Them, Take Themselves Too Seriously. You're Going To Get Rapped - By The Viewers, By The Sponsors And By The Network Brass - If You Joke About Doctors, Lawyers, Dentists, Scientists, Bus Drivers, I Don't Care Who. You Can't Make A Joke About Catholics, Negroes, Jews, Italians, Politicians, Dogs Or Cats. In Fact, Politicians, Dogs And Cats Are The Most Sacred Institutions In America.

I Was So Naive As A Kid I Used To Sneak Behind The Barn And Do Nothing.