I Was So Naive As A Kid

Egyptian President Sadat Had A Belly Dancer Entertain President Nixon At A State Dinner. Mr. Nixon Was Really Impressed. He Hadn't Seen Contortions Like That Since Rose Mary Woods.

Happiness Is Being Stuck In An Elevator And Discovering The Ravishing Blonde With You Is A Liquor Salesman With A Case Of Samples.

I'm Often Asked, "what Is Your Favorite Moment During The 30 Years You Hosted [the Tonight Show]?" I Really Don't Have Just One. The Times I Enjoyed The Most Were The Spontaneous, Unplanned Segments That Just Happened, Like Ed Ames' Infamous "tomahawk Toss" That Produced One Of The Longest Laughs In Television History. When These Lucky Moments Happen, You Just Go With Them And Enjoy The Experience And High Of The Moment.

People Are Hypocrites. If You Ask Them What They Want To See On Tv, They'll Tell You They Want Better Quality Programming. And Then What Do They Watch? 'gilligan's Island.'

If You're Happy In What You're Doing, You'll Like Yourself, You'll Have Inner Peace.