I Was So Naive As A Kid

Happiness Is Seeing The Muscular Lifeguard All The Girls Were Admiring Leave The Beach Hand In Hand With Another Muscular Lifeguard.

I Hated My Last Boss. He Asked, Why Are You Two Hours Late? I Said, I Fell Downstairs. He Said, That Doesn't Take Two Hours.

Democracy Means That Anyone Can Grow Up To Be President, And Anyone Who Doesn't Grow Up Can Be Vice President.

When A Comic Becomes Enamored With His Own Views And Foists Them Off On The Public In A Polemic Way, He Loses Not Only His Sense Of Humor But His Value As A Humorist.

People Are Hypocrites. If You Ask Them What They Want To See On Tv, They'll Tell You They Want Better Quality Programming. And Then What Do They Watch? 'gilligan's Island.'