I Was So Naive As A Kid

Democracy Is The Eagle On The Back Of A Dollar Bill, With 13 Arrows In One Claw, 13 Leaves On A Branch, 13 Tail Feathers, And 13 Stars Over Its Head - This Signifies That When The White Man Came To This Country, It Was Bad Luck For The Indians, Bad Luck For The Trees, Bad Luck For The Wildlife, And Lights Out For The American Eagle.

Happiness Is Your Dentist Telling You It Won't Hurt And Then Having Him Catch His Hand In The Drill.

Audiences Have Proved Time And Again That They Don't Want A Steady Diet Of Any Entertainer Airing His Social Views - Especially If He's A Comedian.

I Am One Of The Lucky People In The World; I Found Something I Always Wanted To Do, And I Have Enjoyed Every Single Minute Of It.

Democracy Is Buying A Big House You Can't Afford With Money You Don't Have To Impress People You Wish Were Dead. And, Unlike Communism, Democracy Does Not Mean Having Just One Ineffective Political Party; It Means Having Two Ineffective Political Parties.