I Was So Drunk Last Night I

With His Blessings From Above, Serve It Generously With Love. One Man, One Wife, One Love, Through Life.

I Once Shook Hands With Pat Boone, And My Whole Right Side Sobered Up!

The Whole World Is Drunk And We're Just The Cocktail Of The Moment. Someday Soon, The World Will Wake Up, Down Two Aspirin With A Glass Of Tomato Juice, And Wonder What The Hell All The Fuss Was About.

When Jerry Lewis And I Were Big, We Used To Go To Parties, And Everybody Thought I Was Big-headed And Stuck Up, And I Wasn't. It Was Because I Didn't Know How To Speak Good English, So I Used To Keep My Mouth Shut.

I Don't Drink Anymore... I Freeze It And Eat It Like A Popsicle.