I Once Shook Hands With Pat Boone,

Motivation Is A Lotta Crap.

When Jerry Lewis And I Were Big, We Used To Go To Parties, And Everybody Thought I Was Big-headed And Stuck Up, And I Wasn't. It Was Because I Didn't Know How To Speak Good English, So I Used To Keep My Mouth Shut.

The Whole World Is Drunk And We're Just The Cocktail Of The Moment. Someday Soon, The World Will Wake Up, Down Two Aspirin With A Glass Of Tomato Juice, And Wonder What The Hell All The Fuss Was About.

Everybody Makes Mistakes; Look At Hitler.

In A Tuxedo, I'm A Star. In Regular Clothes, I'm A Nobody.