I Was Planning On My Future As

Do Not Degrade Me In The Military Uniform I Wear For It Represents The Love I Have For My Country, And The Sacrifices Myself And Millions Of Other American Soldiers Make Everyday To Protect The Freedom We Enjoy By Living In The United States Of America.

I'd Much Rather Be On Stage Talking To A Couple Of Retards For Twenty Bucks Than Sitting At My Desk Thinking Up Jokes For...well Let's Say A Few Dollars More.

You Know, When You Do Standup There Are Certain Requirements That You Have To Do Like You Have To Go On Stage And When You Get Introduced You Have To Say "hey,how Ya Doin'? How Are Ya?" I Couldn't Do It. It Was False.

I'm Surprised Sometimes At How Some Of My Actions Are Misinterpreted.

I Don't Write Shows With Dialogue Where Actors Have To Memorize Dialogue. I Write The Scenes Where We Know Everything That's Going To Happen. There's An Outline Of About Seven Or Eight Pages, And Then We Improvise It.