I Was One Of The First People

I Happen To Be A Devout Atheist. I Don't Believe In God. I Still Go To Church -- I'm Not A Heathen. I Go To An Atheist Church. We Have Crippled Guys Who Stand Up And Testify That They Were Crippled, And They Still Are.

I'm Thankful For The Three Ounce Ziploc Bag, So That I Have Somewhere To Put My Savings.

I Used To Watch 'the Waltons' And Sob Because My Family Was Nothing Like That. We Had A Cruel Sense Of Humor In My Family.

I Have A Horrible Memory And I Used To Consider That A Liability, But I've Learned Along The Way That Talking To People Is Really A Beautiful Thing.

When A Woman Extends Her Hand For You To Shake It, Then You Shake Her Hand. You Do Not Turn It Up And Kiss It. And It Is Just So Creepy. Because, You Know, I Handed It At This Angle. I Handed It At The Handshake Angle And So I'm Not Giving It To You To Do Whatever You Want With It. I'm Not Loaning It To You. It's Like If Somebody Borrowed Your Lawnmower And You're Assuming They're Going To Use It To Mow Their Lawn. You Don't Want To Find Out Later They Put It In The Ocean!