I Was Going To Start Off Tonight

The Irs Said Today Anyone With A Refund Coming From Their 2001 Taxes Will Lose It If They Don't Pick It Up By April 15th. If It Is More Then Three Years They Will Just Keep It. How Come It Doesn't Work That Way With Back Taxes?

This Week The White House Proposed Fingerprinting And Photographing Foreign Visitors So They Can Do Background Checks. Officials In Saudi Arabia Said This Will Only Increase Anti-american Feelings In The Mideast. Is That Possible? Gee, You Hate To Have People Dislike Us For No Reason. Things Were Going So Well.

I Think High Self-esteem Is Overrated. A Little Low Self-esteem Is Actually Quite Good. Maybe You're Not The Best, So You Should Work A Little Harder.

Us Officials Have Now Approved The First Anti-obesity Drug For Dogs. I'm No A Veterinarian, But If Your Dog Is Over Eating, Try Putting A Little Less Food In The Bowl. Do We Really Need To Give Him A Pill? Is The Dog Taking Your Car Keys And Driving To Mcdonalds?

President Bush Fell Off His Mountain Bike Down On His Ranch In Texas. A Couple Weeks Ago, John Kerry Fell Off His Bicycle. See, Doesn't This Make You Miss President Clinton? That Guy, He Could Ride Anything Without Falling Off.