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As You May Have Heard, The U.s. Is Putting Together A Constitution For Iraq. Why Don't We Just Give Them Ours? Think About It - It Was Written By Very Smart People, It's Served Us Well For Over Two Hundred Years, And Besides, We're Not Using It Anymore.

There Was Another War-related Casualty Today. The French Were Injured When They Tried To Jump On Our Bandwagon.

When We Finally Have This Recall Election In October, There Could Be As Many As 200 People On The Ballot. And You Know What's Really Scary? Most Of Them Don't Know The First Thing About Driving A State Into Bankruptcy. They're Not Experts Like Governor Gray Davis.

Here's Something To Think About: How Come You Never See A Headline Like 'psychic Wins Lottery'?

Paris Hilton Got 45 Days In Jail. A Lot Of People Were Upset About This - They Were Hoping For The Death Penalty.