I Was At Michael Jackson's House, And

Oprah Is Rich, Bill Gates Is Wealthy. If Bill Gates Woke Up Tomorrow With Oprah's Money, He'd Jump Out A Fuckin' Window And Slit His Throat On The Way Down Saying, "i Can't Even Put Gas In My Plane!"

Stand-up Comedy Is Like The Lowest Medium In All Of Show Business In Levels Of Respect.

Learn How To Cook. Read Books That Will Educate You. Get An Education. Get A Career. And Support Yourself. And Live In A Section Of Town That Isn't Conducive To Violence.

I Mean No Disrespect To Anything I Did Before.

Nobody Ever Says, 'hey Daddy, Thanks For Knockin' Out This Rent.' 'hey Daddy, I Sure Love This Hot Water.' 'hey Daddy, It's Easy To Read With All This Light.' Nobody Give A Fk About Dads!