I Was Almost Put Out Of Business

You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time -- And That's Enough To Make A Decent Living.

It's Quite True I'm Not Drinking Anymore; However, I'm Not Drinking Any Less Either.

There Are Only Two Real Ways To Get Ahead Today - Sell Liquor Or Drink It.

I Once Spent A Year In Philadelphia, I Think It Was On A Sunday.

It's A Funny Old World. A Man's Lucky If He Gets Out Of It Alive.