I Want To Manufacture A Feud.

I Just Want To Do Cool Stuff.

My Job Was Basically To Look At A Good Friend Completely Naked And Rub Lotion On Her Back. I Was Naked Too, But I Got To Put A Towel On Almost Immediately. So I Was Like, "well, This Is Going To Be Embarrassing, But It's Also Going To Be Kinda Awesome."

I Have A Wife And Two Daughters; People Who Depend On Me. Everything Is More Important Than It Was When I Was 20. But Now I'm Like, "eh, I Made It This Far."

I Get All Of My Comedy From Cnn.

I Am Realizing How Old I Am 'cause I Am Meeting So Many People That Were Born In The 80s, Which Is Crazy To Me That I Was Going Through Puberty And [they Weren't] Even Alive.