I Used To Go Out With Actresses

The Fact Is That You Can't Have A Good Relationship With A Girl Who Hasn't Settled Things With Her Father.

We Would Have Broken Up Except For The Children. Who Were The Children? Well, She And I Were.

Washington Couldn't Tell A Lie, Nixon Couldn't Tell The Truth, And Reagan Couldn't Tell The Difference.

Hillary's Explanation Of The Libyan Action To Congress Was So Good, I Wonder Who Explained It To Her?

A Political Satirist's Job Is To Draw Blood. I'm Not So Much Interested In Politics As I Am In Overthrowing The Government.