I Used To Go Out With Actresses

If You Can't Join Them, Beat Them.

There Were Four Million People In The American Colonies And We Had Jefferson And Franklin. Now We Have Over 200 Million And The Two Top Guys Are Clinton And Dole. What Can You Draw From This? Darwin Was Wrong.

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

My Whole Life Is A Movie. It's Just That There Are No Dissolves. I Have To Live Every Agonizing Moment Of It. My Life Needs Editing.

There's A Danger Our Fiscal Bankruptcy Might Overtake Our Moral Bankruptcy.