I Used To Go Missing A Lot...

Me And A Mate Picked Up Two Darling Birds And They Took Us Back To Their Flat. I Went Into The Bedroom With My Bird And She Started Getting Undressed. I Was That Drunk I Was Standing There Wondering How To Get Undressed Without Letting Go Of The Award. I Went To Sit On The Bed, Missed It By Four Feet And Ended Up Lying On The Floor. I Remember The Bird Looking Down At Me, And Saying, ‘some Player Of The Year.’ Then I Fell Asleep. I Woke Up Still Clutching My Award And Staggered Out Of The Flat. I Hadn’t A Bloody Clue Where I Was.

I Will Respect This Liver. After All, It's Not Mine.

If You'd Given Me The Choice Of Going Out And Beating Four Men And Smashing A Goal In From Thirty Yards Against Liverpool Or Going To Bed With Miss World, It Would Have Been A Difficult Choice. Luckily, I Had Both.

Pele Called Me The Greatest Footballer In The World. That Is The Ultimate Salute To My Life.

I Spent A Lot Of Money On Booze, Birds And Fast Cars. The Rest I Just Squandered.