I Turned Down 'some Like It Hot.'

I Tell Young Comics, 'do You Want This Badly Enough? It's There. But You Have To Go Get It. And If You Think I'm Going To Give You The Key To The Lock Of That Door, There Is No Key, There Is No Lock, And There Is No Door.'

It'll Keep You Alive For Another 10 Years If You Get Yourself A Laugh Once A Day: Either Provoke It, Or Look Around In The Wildest Laboratory In The World, The Public.

Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And Without It, There's No Humor.

If I've Learned Anything In The More Than 50 Years That I've Led Mda, It's That The Generosity Of The American People Knows No Bounds. I'm Sure That With Their Fellow Citizens In Such Dire Need, They'll Dig Deep And Do Everything They Can To Help. I'm Hopeful That Many People Will Be Willing To Make Two Phone Calls And Donate To Both Causes.

I Never Tell An Audience What They Can Expect. I Never Have And I Never Will. I'm An Entertainer For 75 Years.