Make Film, Shoot Film, Run Film. Do

The Doc Told Me I Had A Dual Personality. Then He Lays An 82 Dollar Bill On Me, So I Give Him 41 Bucks And Say, 'get The Other 41 Bucks From The Other Guy.'

Don't You Understand How Dramatic It Is To Be A Comic? To Be A Fool, To Get People To Laugh At This Show-off? Milton Berle Could Take Laurence Olivier And Stick Him Under The Table If He Wanted To. And So Could I.

I Tell Young Comics, 'do You Want This Badly Enough? It's There. But You Have To Go Get It. And If You Think I'm Going To Give You The Key To The Lock Of That Door, There Is No Key, There Is No Lock, And There Is No Door.'

This Is The Pain Pacemaker. I've Got A Battery Under My Skin. From That Battery Are Two Electrodes That Go Into The Spine Where They Cut Bone Away To Accommodate It. Now I Put On The Power Here. If I Have The Pain, The Stimulator Starts. It's Tingling, Like When Your Foot Falls Asleep, You Know?

Comedy Is A Man In Trouble. And Without It, There's No Humor.