I Tried, It Was Hard, I Quit,

As I Examine My Life Through This Book, I Can't Help But Wonder If My Mother Was Right. Maybe I Really Was What I Ate. And Maybe If She'd Let Me Eat A Little More Sugar, I'd Have Come Out Sweeter.

I've Determined The Ideal Job For Me Is One Where I Can Write Clever Essays About My Life And My Employer Will Give Me Enough Money Not Only To Live A Comfortable Existence, But Also To Buy Many, Many New Pairs Of Shoes.

Everyone Who Reads Me Is Someone I'd Like To Hang Out With.

I'm Such A Fangirl When It Comes To Other Writers. I Read 250 Books A Year, And I'm Always Talking Up Books By Other Authors.

Seriously, Our Nation Is Never Going To Be On The Same Page On Issues Like Gun Control, Welfare, The Economy, The Environment, Etc. I Doubt We'll Ever Come To Terms On Tastes Great Or Less Filling And Hybrids Versus Hummers, And There Will Always Be Yankees Fans And Red Sox Fans, And Never The 'twain Shall Meet. Fortunately, All It Takes For Us To Be Of One Mind Is Some Buttercream Frosting.