I Told My Doctor I Got Water

I'll Tell Ya, I Don't Get No Respect... The Other Day, I Got Back From A Business Trip. I Got In A Cab And Said To The Driver, "hey! Take Me To Where The Action Is!" So Ya Know Where He Took Me? He Took Me To My House!

With Me, Nothing Goes Right. My Psychiatrist Said My Wife And I Should Have Sex Every Night. Now, We'll Never See Each Other!

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

My Uncle's Dying Wish - He Wanted Me On His Lap. He Was In The Electric Chair.

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.