I Think When You Take Off That

Designers Don't Put Out The Same Sweater Every Year. They Just Keep Creating.

I've Never Been Married, But I Tell People I'm Divorced So They Won't Think Something Is Wrong With Me.

I Have Six Locks On My Door All In A Row. When I Go Out, I Lock Every Other One. I Figure No Matter How Long Somebody Stands There Picking The Locks, They Are Always Locking Three.

A Study Last Year Showed That The Page You Turn To First In The Newspaper Can Be A Predictor Of How Long You Will Live. No Surprise, Turning First To The Comics Pages Prolongs Your Life.

I'm Pretty Equal Opportunity When It Comes To Issues To Joke About.