I Think My Friend Jeff Is Gay.

My Favorite Sport Is Football. I'm A Die Hard Steelers Fan. Favorite Players Were Hines Ward And Greg Lloyd.

I Don't Want To Wake Up With Cops Surrounding My Bed Tonight.

It Seemed Fun To Play A Villain On Stage And I Wanted My Jokes To Be So Good That I Could Just Calmly Tell Them On Stage.

When My Girlfriend Cooks Dinner, I'm Happy To Do The Dishes. Because I Make Her Wash Dishes When I Take Her To A Restaurant.

When I Was Seven, I Broke My Leg Playing Soccer. Just To Feel Something.