When I Was Seven, I Broke My

I Let A Friend Set Me Up On A Blind Date. It Was A Disaster. She Ended Up Being A Burn Victim. By The End Of The Night.

Racist Dermatologists Think All Black People Have Really Bad Skin.

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.

I Think A Theater Show Is A Pure Version Of Me Doing My Material. The Theater Crowd Is A Bit More Polite, There Really Aren't Hecklers, And There Are A Lot Of People There To See Me, And They're Excited About The Jokes And Hanging Out With Me For A Show.