I Don't Want To Wake Up With

When I Die, I Want To Be Cremated With Everybody.

I Try To Retire Jokes As Soon As I Can Once I Put Them On An Album. But I Can't Think Of Anything I Just Stopped Doing For No Reason.

I Will Never Understand How A Mother Can Kill Her Own Baby And Not Get Away With It.

In Comedy, I Hate That Cop-out Where You Say, "just Kidding." I Know You're Just Kidding. Don't Insult My Intelligence By Spelling It Out For Me That Much.

I Would Never Hit A Woman - Even If She Had A Knife Or A Stutter.