I Think It's Better To Have Ideas.

The Government Doesn't Want You To Use Your Drugs, They Want You To Use Their Drugs.

Kids Always Act Up The Most Before They Go To Sleep. And When I See The Tea Party And All This Stuff, It Actually Feels Like Racism’s Almost Over. Because This Is The Last - This Is The Act Up Before The Sleep. They’re Going Crazy. They’re Insane. You Want To Get Rid Of Them - And The Next Thing You Know, They’re Fucking Knocked Out. And That’s What’s Going On In The Country Right Now.

You Know You're Rich When You Have To Drive For A Half Hour To Get To Your House Once You're On Your Property.

A Sense Of Humor Is Great - It Goes A Long, Long Way In A Marriage.

I Never Really Write The Jokes. I Just Sit Down Over A Week Or Two And Try To Figure Out What I Want To Talk About. Once I Narrow That Down, Then I Start Working On The Material, Like "how Do I Make This Stuff Funny?"