I'll Go Back To Comedy Clubs When

I Like The Tradition Of The Oscars. I Like That Some Of The Greatest Comedians Ever Have Hosted The Show.

When You've Been On A Ghetto Diet Your Entire Life, You're Just Happy To Get A Large Soda Instead Of A Medium.

Men Do Not Settle Down. Men Surrender.

Tomorrow Is More Sure Than Just About Anything Else In The Entire World.

Before I Was A Comedian, I Thought The Coolest Thing That Would Happen To Me Was Being A Teenager... Boy, Was I Wrong!