Yeah, I Love Being Famous. It's Almost

Men Lie The Most, Women Tell The Biggest Lies... A Man's Lie Is, "i'm At Tony House, I Was At Kenny House!" A Woman Lie Is Like, "it's Your Baby!"

Relationships, Easy To Get Into, Hard To Maintain. Why Are They So Hard To Maintain? Because It’s Hard To Keep Up The Lie! ‘cause You Can’t Get Nobody Being You. You Got To Lie To Get Somebody. You Can’t Get Nobody Looking Like You Look, Acting Like You Act, Sounding Like You Sound. When You Meet Somebody For The First Time, You’re Not Meeting Them. You’re Meeting Their Representative!

You Just Got To Be Really Logical When You're A Comedian - To A Fault. Like A Lawyer's Got To Believe In The Law.

I've Been Married For 10 Years And, You Know, It's Hard, You Spruce It Up And You Go Places. How Do You Spruce Up Anything? Artificially. You Go Places And Do Things.

Whatever Your Pleasure, I Can Facilitate. You Need Weed, You Need Meth - Hey, You Need Prozac, I'm Your Man. I Know How You White Boys Always Deal With That Depression. I Mean Me Personally, I Don't Understand What You White Boys Are All Depressed About. Hey, You're White! Smile!