I Think Everyone Should Own Six Guns,

Humanity Is A Crazy Contradiction. I Accept Us For Who We Are. We're Not That Great. Every Time We Take A Step Forward We Go Back To The Same Primitive Behavior. We're Meant To Be This Way. It's Not Our Fault, It's Just Who We Are.

I Love People, I Love Studying People More Than History. So Whatever Situation I See, Then I Look At, What Were The People Like, More Than History Itself.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

That’s The Beauty Of Being A Comedian: It’s The One Job You’re Allowed To Do That. We’re Lucky. We’re Really Lucky.

Everybody's Funny In Different Ways.