I Always Wanted To Write As Much

You Can't Make Money On Broadway. You Make Nothing. You Maybe Make Like $1,350 A Week After You Pay Out All The Producers.

New York Stat Agreed To Pay $12 Million To Settle A Lawsuit Filed Three Decades Ago By Inmates Swept Up In The Bloody 1971 Revolt At Attica Prison. The Settlement Will Be Paid In The Form Of Chocolate Bars And Packs Of Newports That Can Be Picked Up In The Commissary.

You Can’t Make Everybody Laugh. You Gotta Just Do What You Think Is Funny. Just Be Obstreperous To Everybody.

I Would Say Most Comedians Have A Very Cynical Worldview Of The Way The World Can Work. It's Almost Like If You Didn't, You Couldn't Be A Comedian.

You Know How It Is With Writing. You Just Write What You Want To Write. There's No Way To Predict What Is Good Or Bad. You Just Do What You Think Is Funny, And Either It Works Or You're Finished. It's Impossible To Predict Anything.