I Always Wanted To Write As Much

You Can't Make Money On Broadway. You Make Nothing. You Maybe Make Like $1,350 A Week After You Pay Out All The Producers.

I Think People Tend To Feel Odd When I Do My Act. Unless You Are An Ironic Person, It's Not A Good Place For You To Be.

Humanity Is A Crazy Contradiction. I Accept Us For Who We Are. We're Not That Great. Every Time We Take A Step Forward We Go Back To The Same Primitive Behavior. We're Meant To Be This Way. It's Not Our Fault, It's Just Who We Are.

The Mistake That People Make In Stand-up Is Thinking They're Profound Or They're Deep When There Are So Many People Who Have More Worthwhile Ways Of Phrasing Things.

I Love People, I Love Studying People More Than History. So Whatever Situation I See, Then I Look At, What Were The People Like, More Than History Itself.