I Tell Very Mean Jokes.

Disgusting. I Just Found My Grandpa's Viagra. I Swear, I Almost Puked From Eating So Many.

I Can Stand By A Tweet. But Comedy Central Said They Couldn't Publicly Support Me, Unless I Deleted It. I Wasn't About To Tell The People Who Work For Me That They Didn't Have Jobs Anymore Because I Wasn't Going To Delete A Stupid Tweet.

I Don't Want To Wake Up With Cops Surrounding My Bed Tonight.

Sure, Retarded Jokes Write Themselves. But The Spelling Is Always Way Off.

My Great Grandmother Threw Herself In Front Of A Bus. The Police Tried To Say She Was Committed Suicide But The Family Knew She Was Just Trying To Stop Civil Rights.