I Tell Very Mean Jokes.

I'm Inspired By Making People Laugh At Subjects That Should Make Them Cry.

I Could See Myself Adopting A Kid Someday. But, Obviously, I'd Prefer It To Be Aborted.

You Know How Everybody Has That One Weird Creepy Uncle? Well, Seth Green Looks Like He Got Raped By All Of Them.

I Spent All Night Feeding The Homeless To Dogs.

I Wish My Family Had Taken More Pictures When I Was Growing Up. Instead Of Always Having To Draw Everything.