I Sincerely Apologize To Anyone Who Was

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

I Personally Think Miles Davis Is A Lot Funnier Than Me. And He's Working More.

I've Never Understood People Who Say They're Not A Practicing Jew. You Never Hear A Black Guy Say He's Not A Practicing African-american. What Does It Even Mean?

There Are Certain Things I Don't Want To Joke About. If It's About Somebody Else, It's Fine. If It's About Me, I Think It's Totally Insensitive!

I Always Wish The Hotels Were Like They Are In Movies And Tv Shows, Where If You're In Paris, Right Outside Your Window Is The Eiffel Tower. In Egypt, The Pyramids Are Right There. In The Movies, Every Hotel Has A Monument Right Outside Your Window. My Hotel Rooms Overlook The Garbage Dumpster In The Back Alley.