I Always Try To Avoid Anything That

I Would Show Up At A Party For Al Qaeda If You Said There's Going To Be A Dinner.

I Understand Being Less Sexy Than Osama Bin Laden, But Not Less Sexy Than Carrot Top. That, I Find Offensive.

The Pressure To Being A Comedian Is Being Funny, But I've Given That Up, So There Is No Pressure Whatsoever.

In Real Life I'm A Tall, Blond Christian.

If The Police Ever Try To Pick Me Up, Michael Jackson Told Me I Can Hide Out At His House.