I Always Try To Avoid Anything That

I Think A Lot Of People Have Too Much Time On Their Hands.

The Joy Of The Roasts Is To Watch People Get Hurt And Offended, And Then Have To Laugh To Pretend They're A Good Sport.

You Know What My Theory Is? Accept Me Or Go To Hell.

There Are Times When I've Had Ideas Walking Down The Street That I Thought Were Great, And The Minute I Got Onstage, I Would Think Of Them And Go, 'wow, That Would Never Work,' Even Before I Did It In Front Of The Audience.

I've Never Understood People Who Say They're Not A Practicing Jew. You Never Hear A Black Guy Say He's Not A Practicing African-american. What Does It Even Mean?