I Set Out To Be A Cross

I Set Out To Be A Cross Between Lenny Bruce And Robert The Bruce - My Main Thrust Was The Body And Its Functions And Malfunctions - The Absurdity Of The Thing.

I Am Totally, Absolutely Romantic. When I Broke Up With A Girl I Would Listen To The Most Heart-breaking Music And Make It Worse. That's What Girls Do. I Think I Am A Girl Really.

Chic Murray Once Told Me He Fell In The Street, And A Woman Said To Him, "did You Fall?" He Said, "no, I'm Tryin' To Break A Bar Of Chocolate In My Back Pocket."

If You're Going To Do An Interview About A Movie Or Anything Like That, You're Vulnerable. You Say Stupid Things. Or If You're Applying For A Green Card You Feel Very Vulnerable And You're Likely To Spout Out Something Stupid In The Middle Of It All.

The Great Thing About Glasgow Is That If There's A Nuclear Attack It'll Look Exactly The Same Afterwards.