I Recently Attended A Pro-drug Rally... In

I Lived In La For Almost Nine Years And If I Never Went Back There Again It Would Be Fine.

The Bible Is The Funniest Book I Have Ever Read. It's So Funny! Right In The First Six Pages, It's Funny!

What President Of The Airline Is Doing Is, He's Urging Everyone To Give Up Their Frequent Flyer Miles For Sick Kids... But As I Was Reading This, There Were Two Empty Seats Next To Me. Why Can't Sick Kids Sit There? If They're So Concerned With Sick Kids, Shouldn't They Have Like A Pen Of Sick Kids Next To The Gate?

It's A Lot Of Anti-gay, Racist Humor—which People Like In America—all Couched In 'i'm Telling It Like It Is.' He's In The Right Place At The Right Time For That Gee-shucks, Proud-to-be-a-redneck, I'm-just-a-straight-shooter-multimillionaire-in-cutoff-flannel-selling-ring-tones Act. That's Where We Are As A Nation Now. We're In A State Of Vague American Values And Anti-intellectual Pride.

I Just Did 101 Shows In 86 Different Cities In America And Europe And Canada, And I'm Not Lying Or Exaggerating When I Say, At The Vast Majority Of Shows, They Loved It. There Were Encores, There Were Standing Ovations.