I Lived In La For Almost Nine

Maybe If You Live In Brooklyn, You Don't Need To Hear That? But Please, Trust Me, In Most Of America, They Do Need To Hear It. And They're Quite Thankful That Somebody Came Out And Did It. For An Hour And A Half In That Theater, For Once, They're In The Majority.

If People Disagree With Me And Want To Articulate It, That's Not Only Their Right But Almost Their Obligation.

All My Friends Are Always Telling Me How Hard It Is To Have Kids. 'oh, David, It's So Hard.' That's Not Hard. I'll Tell You What Hard Is. Try Talking Your Girlfriend Into Her Third Consecutive Abortion. Yeah, That's Hard, That Takes Finesse. You're Just Inconvenienced.

What Happened To Our Friendship? I Really Think It's Our Obligation As Friends To Be Brutally Honest And Be Frank With Them And Say, 'look, I'm Sorry, But Your Baby Is Fking Boring.'

I Just Did 101 Shows In 86 Different Cities In America And Europe And Canada, And I'm Not Lying Or Exaggerating When I Say, At The Vast Majority Of Shows, They Loved It. There Were Encores, There Were Standing Ovations.