I Only Take A Drink On Two

New York Is My Lourdes, Where I Go For Spiritual Refreshment... A Place Where You're Least Likely To Be Bitten By A Wild Goat.

I Have A Total Irreverence For Anything Connected With Society Except That Which Makes The Roads Safer, The Beer Stronger, The Food Cheaper And The Old Men And Old Women Warmer In The Winter And Happier In The Summer.

A Pedestrian Ought To Be Legally Allowed To Toss At Least One Hand Grenade At A Motorist Every Day.

The English And Americans Dislike Only Some Irish--the Same Irish That The Irish Themselves Detest, Irish Writers--the Ones That Think.

If It Was Raining Soup, The Irish Would Go Out With Forks.