I Once Had A Large Gay Following,

I Think Of My Body As A Temple. Or At Least A Relatively Well-managed Presbyterian Youth Center.

The Other Day A Woman Came Up To Me And Said, Didn't I See You On Television? I Said, I Don't Know. You Can't See Out The Other Way.

I'm From Downer's Grove, Illinois. We Had A Blackout There The Other Day, But Fortunately The Police Made Him Get Back Into His Car Before He Got Too Far.

If An Asteroid Is Coming Toward You, You Don't Have To Blow It Up. You Just Have To Slow It Down Long Enough For Our Country To Rotate Out Of The Way.

My Girlfriend Said, Just Buy Me Something Crazy And Expensive, Something I Don't Even Need! So, I Signed Her Up For Radiation Treatment.