I Once Had A Large Gay Following,

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

Cell Phones Are Like A Dog's Nipples... You Don't Have To Shout Into Them!

England Is Better Only Because I Stand Out There As 'unusual'.

In College I Was One Of Six Males Who Auditioned For Five Male Roles In A Comedy Play. I Was The One Rejected. At That Moment I Made Up My Mind Never To Place Myself At The Mercy Of Some Pompous, Goateed, Black-turtleneck-shirted "should I Yay Him Or Nay Him?" Pantywaist Ever Again.

I Don't Have To Tell You Folks About Scuba Diving. So, That'll Save Some Time.