I Once Had A Large Gay Following,

When I Was A Kid My Parents Used To Tell Me, "emo, Don't Go Near The Cellar Door!" One Day When They Were Away, I Went Up To The Cellar Door. And I Pushed It And Walked Through And Saw Strange, Wonderful Things, Things I Had Never Seen Before, Like... Trees. Grass. Flowers. The Sun... That Was Nice... The Sun.

When I Was A Kid, My Nickname Was Mr. Baseball. Because Of The Stitches.

Probably The Toughest Time In Anyone's Life Is When You Have To Murder A Loved One Because They're The Devil.

He Taught Me Never To Smile, Which Helps Me When I Visit Disaster Sites.

Every Time I See Dan Quayle I Feel Like Buying A Vowel.