I Once Fisted Two Babies And Then

When I Was Little I Always Wanted To Drive A Train. That, And Become A Baker.

The Only Women I Publicly Date Are Those Who Have A Higher Imdb Rating Than Me.

The Greatest Charity You Can Contribute To Is Yourself. Instead Of Spending A Dollar To Help Feed Hungry Children, Why Not Spend That Dollar On Hair Gel So You Can Get The Perfect Cowlick?

It's Just Gods Way Of Getting Babies To Heaven Faster!

I Remember Once I Went To Go See A Movie, And In Front Of Me In Line There Was A Little Boy Who Looked So Eager To See It, Like It Was Christmas Morning. When He Got To The Ticket Booth It Turned Out There Was Only One Ticket Left; The Manager Was There And Wanted To Give It To Me Instead Since I Was Famous. That's When I Knew I'd Hit It Big.