I Never Really Understood What Was Expected

So My Reaction To Hearing This Corny-ass, Horrible Song ["with Arms Wide Open" By Creed] Is Violent, Uncontrollable, Sustained Weeping.

I'm Trying To Teach My Children Not To Cry. That's The Big Thing. No Crying. Because I Think We Can All Agree That Crying Is, For The Most Part, For Sissies. If My Team Loses, I'm Going To Cry. And I'm Going To Want My Kids To See Me Crying. Not Because I Think Sports Are So Important, But Because I Bet So Much Money On The Game That We'll Probably Lose The House If My Team Doesn't Win. That's Something To Cry About.

I Was Very Surprised How Many People Were Earnestly Reminiscing About The '80s. It's Such A Stupid Thing To Do, Like, To Be Honestly Invested In Nostalgia. It Never Even Occurred To Me To Do That.

I'll Never Admit That I'm An Actor, Because The Next Horrible Follow-up Question Is Always, "oh, What Have I Seen You In?"

I Think People Just Love To Win.