I Never Go Jogging, It Makes Me

I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

In What Other Business Can A Guy My Age Drink Martinis, Smoke Cigars And Sing? I Think All People Who Retire Ought To Go Into Show Business. I've Been Retired All My Life.

When Asked In His Late 90s If His Doctor Knew He Still Smoked, Burns Said, 'no ... He's Dead.'

At Home We Ate Fish Every Friday, As Catholics Were Then Supposed To Do. Being Jewish, I Compromised. I Wore A Hat When I Ate Fish, Out Of Respect For My Own Religion And The Fish's Family.

Sex Has Been Around For A Long Time. You May Not Believe This, But It Was Around Before I Was.