I Love Mariah Carey. Remember The Breakdown?

When My Pals In High School Were Starting To Drink, It Always Looked Unappealing To Me. I Would Be At A Big Party And See One Of The Popular Girls Or Football Players Completely Wasted And Puking And Acting A Fool, And Think To Myself, There Is Nothing Cool About That. I Never Wanted To Be That Out Of Control.

My Act Is Based On My Life.

It Is A Challenge, With The Global Fame, To Try To Act Like I Put My Pants On One Leg At A Time, When In Fact I Have Pippa Middleton Help Me Put My Pants On Every Morning. She's My Lady-in-waiting As Well.

I Was A Soccer Cheerleader. It Doesn't Get Nerdier Than That. I Was Fired From The Soccer Cheerleading Squad After One Year, Which I Believe To This Day Is Unprecedented. You Have To Understand, No One Went To The Soccer Games. In Fact, I Believe Part Of My Duties As A Cheerleader Was To Bake Brownies For The Team.

I Do Feel I'm Kind Of A Magnet For Crazy, And If There Isn't Enough Crazy, I Will Insert Myself In A Situation That I Feel Has Comedy Potential.