A Lot Of Stars Don't Have A

Well, I Think That When I Perform On The Road I Always Thank The Audience For Buying A Ticket Because It's A Big Deal To Buy A Ticket For A Live Entertainment, Get A Baby-sitter And Pay For The Meal, The Parking, Whatever.

Why Would You Want To Keep The Bluebird Houses Mounted In A Place That You Now Know Is Unsafe For Them? Bluebirds Are Not Ornaments For Pictures, They Are Living Things That Deserve Your Best Effort If You Are Going To Be A Landlord To Them. There Is No Magic Spell That Will Protect Those Bluebirds--they Have To Depend On You Or They Are Doomed.

Oh, I Constantly Say Things That I Regret. I Mortify Myself Constantly. But That's Just Part Of The Deal. I'm Not Really Sure What's Going To Come Out Of My Mouth.

I Prefer Big Oprah. I Know Oprah Wants To Be Skinny Oprah, But Her Head Is Too Gigantic To Fit On A Skinny Body. She Has To Accept That, Like Kirstie Alley, She Was Meant To Be... Ahm... Voluptuous!

I Prefer Being Known For My Stand-up Because I Write It. I Love Being An Actor, And Saying Other People's Words Is Great. But Then, When I Do Stand-up, I Love Getting My Own Point Of View Out There.