I Love Hitting Into The Rough Because

I'll Be Spending The Holidays With My Family. Nothing Special, Just Some Light Bickering And Biting Sarcasm.

Right After 'raymond' I Had A World-is-my-oyster Attitude, But I Found Out I Don't Like Oysters. I Had This Existential Emptiness.'what Is My Purpose? Who Am I?' I Had A Big Identity Crisis.

Having Children Is Like Living In A Frat House - Nobody Sleeps, Everything's Broken, And There's A Lot Of Throwing Up.

If I Have Sex, I Know My Quarterly Estimated Taxes Must Be Due. And If It's Oral Sex, I Know It's Time To Renew My Driver's License.

I Put Myself On Tape And The Cool Thing Was That Martin Scorsese Had Never Heard Of Me. He Had Never Seen [everybody Loves Raymond]. I Was Just An Unknown Actor To Him. I Don't Want To Sound Conceited, Like He Has To Know Who I Am, But That Seemed A Little Odd. He's A Film Genius. He Doesn't Watch Sitcoms.