I Married A Saint - Well, A

It Seems To Be A Common Denominator With A Lot Of Comics, This Low Self-esteem Thing.

People Think Living In Your Parents' Basement Until You're Twenty-nine Is Lame. But What They Don't Realize Is That While You're There, You Save Money On Rent, Food, And Dates.

My Daughter's Tricycle Said "some Assembly Required." It Came In A Jar.

I'm Now Unemployed. It's A Weird Feeling With No Work, But At Least There's Still Golf. Standup Comedy Is Like My Core, It's What I Do. But I Want To Be A Pro Golfer. It's A Love/hate Relationship With Golf. I Can Come Away Feeling So Serene, And Yet, It's The Thing That I Can Let Get To Me To Throw A Club And Say Curses That Don't Even Exist. I'm Obsessed With Something That Won't Let Me Master It. I Don't Know. I Need Therapy.

I Don't Want To Say Work Is Who I Am, But Some People Feel More Centered And More Whole When They're Producing And Creating.