You Know, A Tv Show Is A

The Married Man Has All But Eliminated That Worry From His Life, Simply Because His Wife Knows All About Him: The Good, The Bad, And The Tiny.

I Have The Show Because I'm Insecure. It's My Insecurity That Makes Me Want To Be A Comic, That Makes Me Need The Audience.

People Think Living In Your Parents' Basement Until You're Twenty-nine Is Lame. But What They Don't Realize Is That While You're There, You Save Money On Rent, Food, And Dates.

Everyone Should Have Kids. They Are The Greatest Joy In The World. But They Are Also Terrorists. You'll Realize This As Soon As They Are Born And They Start Using Sleep Deprivation To Break You.

Whenever I Get Down About Life Going By Too Quickly, What Helps Me Is A Little Mantra That I Repeat To Myself: At Least I'm Not A Fruit Fly.