I Love Being A Dad. I Just

You Know The Message You're Sending Out To The World With These Sweatpants? You're Telling The World, 'i Give Up. I Can't Compete In Normal Society. I'm Miserable, So I Might As Well Be Comfortable.

I Had A Dream Last Night That A Hamburger Was Eating Me.

Keep Your Head Up In Failure And Your Head Down In Success.

Seems To Me The Basic Conflict Between Men And Women, Sexually, Is That Men Are Like Firemen. To Men, Sex Is An Emergency, And No Matter What We're Doing We Can Be Ready In Two Minutes. Women, On The Other Hand, Are Like Fire. They're Very Exciting, But The Conditions Have To Be Exactly Right For It To Occur.

I Didn't Know Every Day I Would Be Discussing The Tone Of My Voice With My Wife. I Thought It Was A Marriage. Apparently, It's A Musical.