I Learned Quickly That When I Made

I Always Wanted To Get Into Politics, But I Was Never Light Enough To Make The Team.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

The Buffalo Isn't As Dangerous As Everyone Makes Him Out To Be. Statistics Prove That In The United States More Americans Are Killed In Automobile Accidents Than Are Killed By Buffalo.

Writers Are Funny About Reviews: When They Get A Good One They Ignore It-- But When They Get A Bad Review They Never Forget It. Every Writer I Know Is The Same Way: You Get A Hundred Good Reviews, And One Bad, Andyou Remember Only The Bad. For Years, You Go On And Fantasize About The Reviewer Who Didn't Like Your Book; You Imagine Him As A Jerk, A Wife-beater, A Real Ogre. And, In The Meantime, The Reviewer Has Forgotten All About The Whole Thing. But, Twenty Years Later, The Writer Still Remembers That One Bad Review.

Just When You Think There's Nothing To Write About, Nixon Says, "i Am Not A Crook." Jimmy Carter Says, "i Have Lusted After Women In My Heart." President Reagan Says, "i Have Just Taken A Urinalysis Test, And I Am Not On Dope."