I Like To Stand Near Atm Machines,

I Like To Use 'i Can't Believe It's Not Butter' On My Toast In The Morning, Because Sometimes When I Eat Breakfast, I Like To Be Incredulous. How Was Breakfast? Unbelievable.

It's Weird To Make A Decision Where Everyone In Your Life Disapproves, Pretty Vocally And Directly. They Said, "you've Got One Year Left. Just Do It." I Had A Full Scholarship So I Didn't Have To Pay For It. They Asked, "why Don't You Just Get The Degree So You Can Have It?" And I Said, "you Don't Understand. I Was Trying To Figure Out What I Wanted To Do And Now I Know. I Have The Answer And It's Dumb To Waste Any More Time."

To Make Even Fewer Friends Try Talking About Politics As Much As You Talk About Yourself.

A Refrigerator Is The Opposite Of A Drug Addict, Because A Refrigerator Starts In A Box And Then Moves To A House.

There Is No I In Team, Unless You Count The Vertical Part Of The T.