I Like To Stand Near Atm Machines,

It's Not Enough To Say I'm Sorry. You Have To Also Mean It. It's The Same With Saying I'm Single.

I Want To Get The Joke To Work Without Having To Put Any Words Or To Say Anything. I Just Want The Person To Look At It, And Quietly In Their Brain, They Can Just Put It Together And Say, "cool, That One Works".

Brought To You By Raising Your Voice. The Next Best Thing To Being Right.

I Don't Usually Fly In First Class, But I Fart In First Class.

It's Always Helpful To Remember That In The Grand Scheme Of Things You Are Much More Important Than... Um, Wait, Than... Something, Maybe.