It Is Illegal To Yell “fire” In

The Chances Of Someone Who Looks Like Jesus Having Pot Raises Steadily, To A Point. If The Guy Is On A Cross You May Have The Wrong Guy.

I Never Set Out To Do A Sketch Show.

I Have A Time Machine At Home. It Only Goes Forward At Regular Speed

If I Make My Window Ten Days For Stand-up, The Conclusion Is That I Failed And That I'm Not Good At Stand-up. If I Make It Ten Years - If I Just Wait - The Conclusion Might Be Something Totally Different. I Think It's So Cool To Do Things In Which You Discover The Malleability Of Your Own Mind.

I Wonder If, As A Society, We Will Ever Be Able To Call Someone A Jive Tofurkey.