I Like To Play Chess With Bald

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.

I Think Of People As Members Of An Audience. But An Audience Acts Independently Of Every Individual. It's An Organism On Its Own. I Focus On That Living Hydra In The Dark.

I Saw A Psychologist Once Because I Thought I Had Depression. It Cost Me $100. When I Left, I Realised That There's Nothing He Could Have Said That Would Cheer Me Up As Much As If I Found A $100 Bill On My Way Home.

Lord Please Break The Laws Of The Universe For My Convenience. Amen.

Isn't This A Wonderful Country? I Was In Florida. I'm Staying At A Motel Called The Three Palms. It's Run By A Middle-aged Couple, One Of Whom Is Missing A Hand. Ok! That's What I Thought, Too! But They Got Upset When I Asked.