I Like Dark Comedies. That's Why I

I Love Playing A Curmudgeon. I Just Love Playing A Sour Guy.

I Try To Write Three Jokes Every Day. I Don't Sit Down And Write Them, It's Just Things That Pop Into My Head. Then I'll Go Watch It Fail Onstage That Night.

Hookers Don't Like To Snuggle.

I Wonder If In 2050 There Will Be A Movie Called, 'dude, Where's My Spaceship'

I Think Those Neighborhood Signs That Say 'slow Children Playing' Are Mean.