I Didn't Go On Dialysis Because I

The Best Way To Clean Up A Son's Room Is To Close The Door And Pretend It's Not Part Of The House.

The Best Things In Life Aren't Things.

As My Good Friend Al Capp Told Me A Few Years Ago, The Best Thing To Do With A Confirmed [hotel] Reservation Slip When You Have No Room Is To Spread It Out On The Sidewalk In Front Of The Hotel And Go To Sleep On It. You'll Either Embarrass The Hotel Into Giving You A Room Or You'll Be Hauled Off To The Local Jug, Where At Least You'll Have A Roof Over Your Head.

If You Attack The Establishment Long Enough And Hard Enough, They Will Make You A Member Of It.

Over The Years I Have Met A Lot Of Important People, But No One As Important As Elvis Presley.